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This year signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “disappearing” entered the mainstream. At the time, the concept that someone could suddenly stop communication with a partner without any notice seemed like the height of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more confounding – an oftentimes unsuccessful endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by online jargon.

Generation Z, a cohort who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread attack on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their Gen Y elders could ever fathom. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a extensive guide to the terms gen Z is using to talk about love, intimacy and the search of both. To echo one of the recent most popular memes, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, romance's gold standard is presenting as your real, raw self. Good luck with that!

B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s response is interested or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This signifies seeking out someone who aids you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people form a link while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional excess, it refers to partners who forgo parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Red flags – Behavioral habits suggesting a prospective partner is not right. Examples include calling their exes crazy, poor tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits validate your decision to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The rare partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and often mundane repulsions that instantly kill any feelings of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet act.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z desire fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {